There are tons of blogs out there for moms.  It doesn’t seem that there are many blogs writing about NOT being a mom.  I wonder if this is because it’s such a personal issue, or if it’s because it’s a more rare situation.  I really do not know but I feel that women out there need to know that they do not have to be in a certain situation in life to know that they are loved and valued.

I personally have gone through a lot of thoughts about what my identity is and what I thought it should be.  In my early 20’s as a young married I was diagnosed with a rare skin condition that not only has no cure but they don’t know what causes it.  This diagnosis though not life-threatening, shook my world up.  It became a major factor toward my inability to have children as well as made my self-esteem fall drastically.

I had to go through the plaguing thoughts that were always there for several years that told me you are not important, you don’t matter…your dreams will not come true.  

Only after I dealt with these thoughts by bringing them…well throwing them at God’s feet and being confronted with the TRUTH of His word was I able to change the way I felt.

Part of growing up and maturing is learning that we are all on a different journey.  My calling as a daughter of Christ is to glorify His name.  It’s not about me, there is a MUCH bigger picture here.  Motherhood, though noble it is, will not be for everyone and it is not what determines our self-worth.  God sees us exactly as we are, broken and lost.  He has given me far more than I deserve by sending His son to relate to me in my personal world.

Do I still fight these negative thoughts?  Yes.  Do I feel like God is somehow trying to punish me at times?  Yes.  I am human, I feel things…just remember to find the truth in your situation.  When you can’t see the outcome know that HE does.

Isaiah 40:27-28

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God?”  Have you not known? Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.



4 thoughts on “Trust.

  1. Angie

    So very true Jessica. A fantastic lesson to learn. My job, my children, etc. do not determine my self-worth. Expectations, instead of trust, are my demons. Thanks for the message of finding the true path, even if it’s not what I was planning.

  2. Pingback: Looking back. | home daycare and me

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